Facing Uncertainty

If you are a Christian, a real one, you know that the Christian life is a life
of faith. The book of Hebrews the "Faith Book", tells us that "the just shall
live by faith" (Heb 10:38) and that "faith is the confidence of what we hope
for, the assurance of things we cannot see" (Heb 11:1).  Without question, God
wants us to trust him and to not live in fear but in confidence.

But let's be honest: At times, there are circumstances that can overwhelm our life. Like a
tidal wave rising up out of the ocean, circumstances can arise that scare the
be-jeebers out of us, causing deep distress, even panic attacks at times. We
love God and trust God, but looking out at our future, all we can see is a big
question mark as to what is going to happen.

Again just being honest, Robin and I feel that way at this very time. She is teaching five classes at a major university while trying to finish her doctoral degree. The pay is low and what
will be available after she graduates is very uncertain.

As for me?

This past year has represented by far and away the biggest hurdles of my life, and I
have faced many, but none of this magnitude. As a freshman in college I gave my
life to Christ and to his service and entered Bible college. All I have ever
known is ministry to God's people full-time. When I surrendered to the call to
full time ministry, I burned all bridges and went full in.

But here I am at age 52, unemployed for the first time in my life, no paycheck or savings, being
told by churches I have applied to that they want younger pastors. I'd be lying
to say that there are moments where I am not white knuckled, holding on tightly
to my Masters garment, facing circumstances beyond what I have ever had to face.
Waves of fear overwhelm me, often many times during one day, and I breathe out
cries to heaven for help.

The awesome apostle Paul who most of us think was a fearless warrior for Christ, bowling his way through all obstacles, walking in victory all the time, in fact, wasn't.  He had his times of deep fear and anxiety as well. Speaking to the Corinthian church he said this:

"We want you to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the troubles we went through in the
province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed, beyond our ability to endure,
and we thought that we would never live through it. In fact we expected to die.
But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God,
who raises the dead."

Wow. Let that sink in.

Here are 3 things to note:

1. First of all, there WILL The troubles.

Paul said, "we want you to
know, dear brothers and sisters, about the troubles we went through in the
province of Asia."

I have been a Christian for 33 years plus and still find this
hope in the back of my mind that there will be some point in life that I will
finally be pass troubles. As Robin said today, "We are like the hobbits. We are
always looking for the Shire." But the fact of the matter is in this life it
doesn't exist. Jesus said, "In this world you WILL face troubles…" It's part of
living in a broken, fallen world. A trouble-free existence just does not exist
and is a false expectation. That's the reason we eagerly await heaven where we
will finally be in the real Shire, at peace and at rest in the presence of Jesus
forever.

2. Second, sometimes those troubles can be so overwhelming that we
feel completely crushed.

The anxiety is beyond what we can take or control and
we feel despondent. Paul said this, "We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our
ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact we
expected to die."

Think about that. They were expecting the worst case scenario, that it was over, they were going to die.

Have you ever felt like that? It may not be that you were facing actual death but possibly bankruptcy or the loss of A loved one or something else.

You're not alone dear one. The great apostle Paul felt the same.

As I said, over the past few months I have gone back-and-forth as well, overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty, even panic attacks, going back to the Lord again and again for peace and relief. We forget that we are but clay and all so very very human.

3. And that brings me to the last point. We ARE so very, very human, and ultimately, God allows and uses troubles to break us from our self-reliance.

Paul said "that as a result of
these troubles that were so very vexing, we stopped relying on ourselves and
learn to rely only on God."

Get that.

Paul had to learn and relearn to not
rely on himself. He had to learn and relearn to trust God.

I don't know about you, but that encourages me. When troubles come we all desperately look for
someway we can escape the trial. "I'll do this…or... I'll do that!"  From our youth we are used
be the ones who have to make it happen.

"You have the ability! You can fix it! You have the strength!"

Except when we don't.

Sometimes we are boxed in and apart from God, things seem hopeless. We have no strength left. It's at that point that God enters in. Our natural strength is depleted, finally making room for HIS super
natural strength to come in. I love Isaiah 40, where it says this: 

"Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting
God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can
measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and
strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young
men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new
strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow
weary. They will walk and not faint."

I hope this encourages someone out there today. Robin and I deeply appreciate every one of you and ask for your prayers. We will do the same for you. My plan is to blog on a weekly basis until
I can afford podcasting. If this speaks to you please share it with someone else.

Love you guys dearly,

PB

Comments

[Jeni]

I haven't been to Harvest in years. I looked it up tonight, plan to go tomorrow and was surprised you weren't the lead pastor. I Googled your name and was taken to this blog. Broken and stubborn, I walked into the Rave theater many years ago. I had quit on God and thought he had given up on me. You and Harvest gave me hope. It changed my life. Prayers to you as you chart new chapters and journeys in your life.

[Rachel mcnorton]

Thank you pb! You are an encouragement to me and my family! I so appreciate your blogs! The mcnortons miss you and can't wait for the bridge in pensacola to be here!

[Donna & Scott]

We continue to lift you in prayer, PB (and Robin). God crossed our paths at such a critical point for us and we are certain His hand is upon you. You ARE a leader and ARE gifted to teach His children. Doors will open in His timing and you will be amazed when you're both looking back at this cross roads. Glad to hear you are going to begin to blog again regularly. We'll be reading, and lifting you in prayer, and waiting to see how God restores you. Be encouraged by looking back at what He's already done with your submission to His call on your life. We are lives changed because you were obedient. Our love and gratitude, PB

[Keith McNorton]

Thank you PB. Don't ever think for a moment that your gift of reaching people is anything but from God himself. That's what it is PB, a gift; a gift from God. Don't look at 52 as a roadblock, look at it for what it's worth! You are blessed, anointed, experienced, and powerful. Use it! Pray about it PB and when you need help, know that help is available to you. Love you brother.