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December 08, 2008

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Sheryl Braun

I am excited for you guys....German Shepherds are the BEST! (as long as you have a crate, Kong toy, and a Furminator brush)

The Cat

Day 1234 of my captivity…I knew they were up to something. I tried to get a note from the fish, but apparently it believes that everything happening outside its bowl is some kind of reality - TV show. I don’t understand why the new puppy is allowed up on the bed and I’m not. I am far more cuddly than any stupid puppy. I made it as far as the street today. I waited and waited until my captors opened the front door, and I slipped out, fast as lightening. But the cars were going by so fast, I had to wait it out on the sidewalk. It was raining and cold, and finally I decided to abandon my attempt. For now. No freedom is worth wet fur.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to cough up a fur ball on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. My captives are harder to crack than I expected.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The new dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. For NOW.
One day, I WILL escape. Oh yes. ONE DAY. It is only a matter of time… My captor is coming. I must hide this now. Will finish later.

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